Do you remember that happiness is a choice you can make? Obviously not a new or original idea, but I find sometimes we need to remind ourselves and what better time than the beginning of a New Year! If you practice happiness more this year, your health will thank you.
I think most people will tell you if you ask them that they would like to feel a little (or a lot) happier. Though happiness is often elusive because so many of us are waiting for it to happen to us. We’re going through our days, weeks, even years waiting, hoping that we’ll get there – to a place where we’re finally happy. Sure wonderful things happen along our way and there are times we feel happy, but for the most part, we’re waiting for something external to happen first – then we’ll be happy. Does “I’ll be happy when ____” or “When I have ____ then I’ll be happier” sound familiar?
We forget that happiness isn’t the destination, it’s really a way of living; a way of being and it requires intentional practice along the way for most of us. Without that, it’s less likely we’ll just happen to arrive there one day – finally at “Happiness.”
I’m certainly mindful that there are illnesses and conditions, like clinical depression for example, which require deeper work and just deciding to be happier isn’t that simple and that we all have difficult life situations which are filled with grief or sadness. What I’m talking about here is letting go of the small (and then the medium) irritations which can lead to a much happier daily existence for most. So why wait for someday in the future for yours?
It’s about choosing to feel differently in or about a situation. Of course, there may still be challenges along the way, particularly at the beginning of a new practice, but small efforts go a long way.
Start by noticing when you feel yourself becoming irritated about a particularly slow cash-out line or a traffic delay. The truth is, you’ll be waiting in that line until it is your turn anyway regardless of whether you’re fuming or whistling a happy tune. You’ll be stuck until the traffic gets moving again so, you can feel annoyed, raising your blood pressure and affecting your heath OR you can choose to be “happy” while you wait because face it, you WILL be waiting. Fine, maybe whistling that happy tune or feeling immediately joyous is a little too ambitious when you’re just starting to practice this (or even after you’ve been practicing awhile – I know), but you can always start by substituting “not irritated” for “happiness.” It will lead to the same thing.
Few of us can manage not to react at all, but after your initial reaction, recognize how you’re feeling and consciously choose to feel differently. Take a deep breath, let go of any tension with your exhale, because it’s important to feel it in your body as well as think it. Then decide “not to mind” or “not to be bothered.” (Smiling can actually help too.)
Finally, find and focus on a positive aspect of the situation. Try to look at the former annoyance as an opportunity.
- An opportunity to practice patience. Are you often impatient and need practice? I smile and practice patience A LOT at the grocery checkout.
- An opportunity to practice gratitude. Perhaps being thankful for your good job & paycheck when someone dumps an extra project on you or even being happy that you’re so good at your job! Studies report “an attitude of gratitude” helps reduce stress hormones in the body.
- An opportunity to practice compassion. Hope that it isn’t an accident causing the traffic delay or that at least no one was injured rather than focusing on the inconvenience of it. My sister taught her children to clasp their hands together and say aloud “I hope no one is hurt” every time they hear a siren. You can say the same thing next time you’re stuck in traffic.
It’s not always easy, but it can get easier and the rewards are great. Consider using Reiki treatments if you need support in cultivating such changes. It is frequently used to encourage the gentle release of old patterns and emotions as well as to facilitate personal growth. Cultivating an attitude of happiness can change your life and, as I said at the beginning, your health will thank you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
