Keep the spirit of the holiday season going through the year! Studies have shown that people who express gratitude, for even the smallest elements of their lives, are happier and can remain positive through difficult times and suffering. People who can find the gift in a moment of difficulty, the opportunity in challenging times, and the possibility that lies on the other side of a crisis truly are happier because they are focused on what is good and feel genuine gratitude for all they have in their life. Yes, but these people are born this way, you say. Maybe… maybe not. Dr. Martin Seligman, founder of the emerging field of positive psychology, declares that everyone can practice being happier so that it becomes second nature, no matter what our current default outlook is.
While there are countless ways one can express gratitude, there are a few exercises Dr. Seligman has found to be the most effective at raising levels of overall happiness. And these are not activities that require a lot of time and commitment; practicing just one of these even once a week has been proven effective at boosting feelings of contentment! And who wouldn’t benefit from cranking up the happiness dial?
A simple place to start is a “Gratitude Journal,” a practice that cultivates an awareness of all the things that create ease and happiness in your life, allowing you to concentrate on those rather than on the things that are not going well (and bring you down). Every night, write down three (or more!) things you are grateful for from that day. There will always be something you can write, whether it is earning a promotion, spending a quiet day at home with your children sans tantrums or arguing (or, at least, minimal tantrums or arguing), avoiding a traffic backup on the way home, or catching a gorgeous sunset while you were stuck in traffic. Then, write down why each thing happened. Sometimes gratitude can emerge not from the actual occurrence but from a realization about or lesson learned from what happened that may prevent you further suffering in the future. The practice of focusing on all the good, no matter how small or hidden, increases levels of happiness and creates a greater sense of ease with that which is not going well. Over time, you will begin to see the “bright side” long before the shadows from the dark side of things swell over you.
Another practice, the “Gratitude Visit,” is a two-step process that builds on the personal practice of keeping a Gratitude Journal and pays it forward (because happiness is that much more profound and meaningful when it is shared!). First, write a letter of thanks to someone who has done something important for you, and whom you have never properly thanked. The letter should describe what the person did and when, and what happened in your life as a result of their action(s) or words. As a next step, arrange to meet with the person face-to-face and read the letter to them, taking care to ensure they know you are sincere and heartfelt. Expressing gratitude towards someone who has made a positive impact of your life will create a sense of joy for you, and for them, making this practice action-packed with happiness.
A third practice involves identifying and using your strengths to the fullest. How many of us take time out of our days to silently reprimand ourselves for our so-called short-comings, weaknesses, or flaws? And how many of us are positively affected by this practice? (The answer is none.) Rather than spend one more moment thinking of all the things you wish you were, take some time to reflect deeply about all the gifts you possess and the strengths you call upon in your everyday life as well as in times of crisis or challenges. Write them down, read them, say them aloud, take them in, own them. Acknowledge your strengths and all the ways you currently use them. Then, brainstorm new ways you can begin to use and apply them to specific situations or circumstances in your life. Commit to using them in these new ways. Once a day (or week), reflect upon how you used them and how it made you feel. Taking inventory of your strengths and calling upon them in challenging situations will enhance your self-esteem and confidence and lower your sense of overwhelm during stressful or difficult situations.
Life can be very challenging at times. Cultivating a sense of gratitude for all that life hands us and, thereby, creating our own happiness may be the most powerful preventative medicine for suffering available to us. These practices are simply a few tried and true ways to express gratitude and expand upon all the good in our lives but they are certainly not the only ways. No matter what shifts you make in your thinking, being and doing, the more you pay attention to the positive elements of life, the less impact the negative circumstances and happenings will have and the happier you will be overall. And I, for one, say that is worth practicing.
